“He is broken”

It is tough living with a man who is logical, loving, godly and devoted! Hmmm, let me look at that again! Well at least it is tough when you are a mom who is frustrated, emotional, ungodly and tired! Most days I am incredibly grateful for Ron who brings so much love, healing and stability to this family. But yesterday – I just wanted to be mad. Another thing broken in our home by the hands of our dear sweet traumatic brain injury child. It appears it is a regular occurrence around here. But this time, it was an expensive Christmas present. I won’t say what it was because I am not playing on your heartstrings. I know many of you would ship me Amazon boxes of the item. 😊 But I did try that angle on Ron, “We won’t have any money left till he is 18 to recover all that we have lost around here at his hands!” Thinking certainly Ron would be as angry as I was if I brought up finances!

No, he was unphased. “I do not know why Matthew does what he does, but I do know that his body is broken and maybe sometimes he gets very tired of living with a broken body and wants other things around him to be broken. Let’s just keep focusing on how far he has come and be patient with the rest.” Ugh, I crumbled, felt horrible, guilty, and so defeated.

It was just earlier in the day that I was sobbing during a scene that Kari and I watched from “The Chosen” (Season 3 episode 2). In case you haven’t seen it, I don’t want to be the spoiler, but here is the clip if you want to see it. The subject is healing.

Regarding complete healing- Kari and Matthew haven’t experienced that this side of heaven- but the Word speaks to that issue, and I was reminded again of the many ways that I don’t always have my thinking lining up with Christ’s! (Case you missed it- that was the major understatement of day).I, too, am a broken person. We all are! We all need a Healer, a Repairer of our broken souls, a Rescuer to save us from our sin, a Savior who carries us on his shoulders during our incredible weakness – Jesus. Look to Him, trust Him. Peace has been restored in my heart and home. Matthew is no longer living with his mom’s wrath. Humbly submitting to the ways of Christ really is the way to live- abundant living!!

Today, you can also pray for me as I celebrate six months since my back surgery. Visit to surgeon will hopefully relieve me from all my post-surgical restrictions and I can get started with that construction work, beginning with my own heart! Happy New Year!  Joan

5 thoughts on ““He is broken”

  1. Joan, thanks so much for baring your soul to us. Will continue to hold you and your family up in prayer. Shirline Evans


  2. Serious question, have you ever considered writing a devotional? I know you and Ron have written books and they are wonderful. But this little moment has done more for me spiritually than any devotional ever has. Thanks for sharing how God is fine tuning you! To God be the glory!


  3. Yes, we all are broken. Sometimes I just want to be mad too. Then my husband humors me. Even though I do not always appreciate it at the time, I eventually come around and am thankful for his input into my life. I didn’t get a chance to respond to your post about going into ministry with handicapped families. I think that is an exciting thought. Who else is better prepared to come along side these families. Handi*vangelism is a small, local ministry that does just that. They have a website. Joni and Friends is a large organization that does that too. Both have many practical handouts you could make use of. I hope you pursue your ministry to other families with disabilities.


  4. You are such an Amazing writer Joan! I always appreciate your words!! Thanks for sharing!
    Praying your back is better than ever!!


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