Translated into modern English: “May God grant you (cause you to have, continue in) peace and happiness.”  

We treasure all the cards and letters we’ve been receiving. They bring comfort and joy to us. Receiving a mixture of sympathy and Christmas cards – reminds us of the mixture of “Congratulations on the birth of a son (Jeremy)” and “our sympathies on the loss of your son (Ryan)” cards – 31 years ago.

The angels told shepherds that they had “news of great joy that will be for all the people.” Included in those “all the people,” were folks like Rachel who refused to be comforted because her children “were no more.” It requires time, love, hope (and more) to come to understand fully our Savior’s rescue from “Satan’s power when we were gone astray,” and its effects, including death itself. This good news grants us the ability to move through these hard days.

2025 was a mixture of pain, sadness, new things and joy.

In February, Joan woke up to severe pain, an abscess within the left side of her face. Immediate surgery was required as the infection could have moved to her brain. Thankfully, she has mostly recovered from that. Later, she battled skin cancer.  Surgery was also successful there (she is still healing).

Coming into the year, Ron’s right eye (his lens implant from years before) was misbehaving. In May, the offending lens was removed. Thankfully, it turns out that he didn’t need a follow up surgery.

Matthew continues to be challenged by the effects of his traumatic brain injury at infancy but seeks to build on his strengths, especially music. He takes voice and French horn lessons. He also attended a weeklong acting camp – culminating in a few key roles in the Kids musical version of Finding Nemo. His greatest contribution was a strong voice (always on pitch, always coming in on time) which helped lead the other children.

At the end of September, we had a big backyard birthday party, complete with a live bluegrass band. We celebrated 93 years (Dad) and 39 years (Kari).       

Shortly after Kari’s death in October, Joan’s dad survived a face plant. The LGH ER did a great job of treating his nose – no follow up surgery required. Less than a week later, our granddaughter Elia was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. It is sad to see her face this. At the same time, we are amazed at what a trooper she is.

A highlight of our year was attending Joni and Friends Family Retreat in the Poconos. The health of each of us was stable enough that we were able to greatly enjoy it. We are so happy that our retreat had a Christmas theme to it – an early Christmas with Kari part of it. And therefore, the reason we have a 2025 Denlinger Christmas photo that includes her.

Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas…

O tidings of comfort and joy!

A dear relative, after reading our most recent post, wrote to Joan and me: “Your family’s experiences over the last week are too hard and sad.”

It does feel that way! It makes me wonder: Are we in a good place, a safe place, when the trials compound and feel like too much?

There was a guy named Agur who prayed:  

“give me neither poverty nor riches;
    feed me with the food that is needful for me,
lest I be full and deny you
    and say, “Who is the Lord?”
or lest I be poor and steal
    and profane the name of my God.” (Prov 30:8,9)

I’m thinking I could pray something similar about trials:

“If I don’t have any hardships, stress or trials in my life…
    That wouldn’t be good for me. I wouldn’t grow and besides,
   I could conclude that I don’t need you – ‘I got this.’
But if I have too many trials…   
I could become disappointed with you and question your goodness,
    And perhaps ‘unsubscribe’ from some aspect of your role in my life.”

Both Dobson (“When God Doesn’t Make Sense”) and Yancey (“Disappointment with God”) have written books about this. A season of grief isn’t just hard, it is also dangerous. We barely have two gray cells to rub together. We can make bad decisions. It is at such times when many walk away from the faith. But we don’t want to do that, not even a little bit. We need all of God’s love through every means that he would provide. We don’t want to turn from him, but to stay close – even when we don’t understand. Besides, like Peter expressed, where else would we go? Jesus is the one who offers real life. And therefore, we must continue to subscribe to life in him.

Our relative concluded with her prayer for us. No doubt it is the kind of prayer that many of you are praying for us – one that is so precious to us. “We pray for God’s grace and strength to uphold you through grief and stress.”

Thank you for that prayer and all your prayers and all the words of encouragement and concern!

* * *

Speaking of subscribing / unsubscribing…

Some of you get notified whenever we post. Some of you check in every so often to see if we’ve written anything lately. If you’ve not subscribed but would like to, here’s how:

He wraps Himself in Light, Love and Hope and in our darkness, He wraps us with these attributes that keep us from falling into the abyss of depression and despair.

Advent is soon here- reminding us that we are in the dimmest hours before the Light will come.  Soon we will be wrapping presents, ready to celebrate Jesus first coming-His greatest gift to us so far-much more to come!

Oh yes, I am trying to prepare my heart for upcoming holiday season without having my daughter to wrap my arms around. And one amazing gift to me has been the outpouring of expressions of love from all of you, wrapping me in the comfort that it will be better by and by. I can’t thank you enough.  One of those amazing gifts was a 5 day/4 night stay in an Airbnb in the Endless mountains of PA.  Holly Hill Haven (Dushore, PA ) is a gorgeous 3-bedroom, 2 bath cabin surrounded by mountains, wildlife (truly amazing – bear came every evening to entertain us), and peace. It was this past week that we escaped to the hills, Monday to Friday (hence the reason I have not responded to a lot of you) a transition time to regroup, grieve, pray as we say good-bye to Kari and move on in life without her – so drastic a change. We were ready to wrap ourselves in the new life God is preparing for us.

The Saturday (15^th) before we left, my dad tripped and fell flat on his face, blood everywhere, passed out then went unresponsive and blue. I thought we were losing him. We were in public place, I yelled for someone to call 911, and Matthew ran in terror – not able to handle one more trauma since his sister’s death. Dad came to before the ambulance arrived, then off to hospital, X-rays, tests, the whole 9 yards of wrapping him in hospital emergency care, and after 7 hours discharged to me. His nose was very broken with bone protruding but no brain bleed. So next 48 hours involved lots of icing, medicating and overseeing all his walking motions. Forty-eight hrs. took us right up to time to leave for cabin, dad and all his special needs, Matthew and all his special needs, and Ron and I with all our emotional needs – wrapped up in a 3 ½ hr. trip to mountains.

When we saw the place we would be staying, instant love wrapped His arms around us. Peace! Jeremy, Sarah, and children would be arriving on Wed to also join us in processing our loss, talking about what future would look like, and just crying and laughing together as a family.

Twenty minutes out from their arrival on Wednesday, I got a frantic call from Jeremy 1- they just got word (from blood tests taken early in the day) that Elia’s blood sugar was dangerously high – where was nearest hospital? Phone service went death in the Endless mountains, so while they finished the drive to the cabin, Ron and I researched nearest ER. They dropped off Lucy (2 yrs) and took our directions – leaving in the night on unfamiliar roads and frantic hearts! We wrapped them in prayer, wrapped Lucy in love, and wrapped our son, whose heart was so set on their coming, in calm. God wrapped us all in His Sovereignty, guiding every step!

I won’t say it was a peaceful night, but in the storm I felt a calm. Elia got treatment for juvenile diabetes (new diagnosis on top of her needing open heart surgery – all because of her Turner’s syndrome). And Jeremy and Sarah spent the evening and night learning a new future for their precious daughter. Blood sugars, insulin, finger sticks, monitoring system, food. All so overwhelming! Your job is to wrap them in prayer, please!

They all came back to the cabin, and Thursday we had a sweet 8 hours together before we all wrapped up early so we could get them home. They needed to be at Hershey Medical Center all day today. We have sweet Lucy today. This family is amazing. And I don’t just say that because they are my children and grandchildren, I say that because they belong to Christ and they keep wrapping themselves in His cloak of grace. I stand in awe.

Yes, my heart is grieving this little girl who now has a lifelong disease to deal with, she is an overcomer, related to her aunt, I know.

“Light dawns in the darkness for the upright. He is gracious, merciful, and righteous.” Ps 112:4

In a griefshare program this past Sunday which Ron and I attended, we were told to come up with a scripted answer to share when people asked, “How are you doing?”  It is really hard to respond to that because it depends on the moment. But if I had a verse in my pocket, the above would be it right now!

In this predawn darkness, God truly is shining His light for me to see just the next step. As others are wrapping their comfort around me, I can abundantly wrap my love and care around others.  Lots of wrapping going on and it is NOT Christmas yet, but it is coming!

Please keep us all in your prayers, but especially Elia who will be four, three days before Christmas. And for that preborn baby sister of hers, who may make an appearance on New Year’s Eve! Talk about Hope!

Joan

PS If you are looking for a fabulous Airbnb, I highly recommend Holly Hill Haven.

Before I (Ron) get into the reason for the title of this post, this update…

This afternoon, we pass on Kari’s “party bus” to a local family who has a son in a wheelchair. That came together quickly as did the purchase of a minivan for our second vehicle. We already think of this as Matthew’s minivan because it is easier for him to get in and out of. The color of the “new” Sienna is Predawn Gray. Seems appropriate because that’s where we live right now – in the Pre-Dawn. Or as C.S. Lewis would have said, we live in the “Shadowlands.” Some say, “the darkest hour is just before the dawn.” In any case, we’re reminded that “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” (ESV)

For the prelude to Kari’s Celebration of Life, Jeremy created a video of slides to accompany “Simple Things,” a song written and sung by a dear friend of ours, Nancy Landis Wright.

Also, during the same Celebration of Life, Jeremy shared his precious thoughts about having Kari as his sister – a beautiful work of art. You can find it here. Kari’s Eulogy by her Brother

Many of you have expressed appreciation for Rob Vaughn’s post (another precious work of art), found here: https://robvaughnnews.substack.com/p/the-girl-who-could-not-speak?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&triedRedirect=true

And finally, the Celebration of Life is now up on YouTube. It begins with lots of slides. The prelude “Simple Things” begins at 24:19. The welcome begins at 28:53.

So many of you have gifted us with being there for us (your attendance this past Friday), words of encouragement, prayers, flowers, memories, meals, hugs, and so on. Each of them help – a lot!

This morning we received another wonderful gift from a dear friend – an amazing writer who has given a loving tribute to Kari in a big way. I’ll give you the opening paragraph or so, then give the link so you can read it in its entirety. And can we ask you to pray for this testimony? Rob’s stuff goes out to many subscribers (nearly a thousand, the last I heard). Many of them follow because of his having been a TV News Anchor. Surely many of them would be skeptical of some things Rob writes. Thanks.

The girl who could not speak.

Her life spoke volumes.

Rob Vaughn

Nov 11, 2025

Kari Jo Denlinger, a dark-haired wonder of a woman, who for 39 years rolled her way across the earth (no walking for her) or who was lifted and carried around by others (reminiscent of princesses of old, toted in their sedan chairs) and who never spoke, but through her dark eyes and expressive mouth communicated messages of love and wisdom, has taken her leave of this world, having assumed a new role in a new place where many now marvel at the sight of her long-delayed walking and the sound of her long-awaited speaking, and soon — if they have not done so already — will situate on top of her head a gleaming crown fit for a monarch.

You think I speak in metaphors. I do not. Well, mostly not. Jesus and the apostles spoke of the solid realities of heaven; I’m good with their descriptions.1

Kari – a dear family friend who died on October 31 after being the longest-living human being with her rare disability – is now a resident not of a metaphorical “heaven” of clouds and floating cherubs, but of the ontological heaven – that is, the real thing, wherever that may be2 – which we read about in Scripture and which, one day, will give way to the “new heavens and new earth” forecast in the book of Revelation – a place where tears, and wheelchairs, will be no more.

Which makes this a story worth telling.

It’s not only about Kari and her strange journey through life, but also about the indefatigable human love that carried Kari along the way. 

https://robvaughnnews.substack.com/p/the-girl-who-could-not-speak?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&triedRedirect=true

For those of you who can’t make it on Friday to Kari’s celebration of life service, we want to let you know that Calvary will be livestreaming it. This can be accessed at the Calvary Church webpage, at https://www.calvarychurch.org/memorial-service/.  Please note that if you log on early (prior to 11:00 on Friday, November 7) you may see a previous service, but it will switch to a live feed shortly before the service begins.

A video recording of the service will also be made available through the Calvary Church YouTube channel.  To get there, you can go to the same livestream page mentioned above, then click the button that says “Watch Previous Services.” It may be several days after the service until it is uploaded, but then the video recording will remain available at that site.

Each of us is responding to Kari’s loss in his own way. Matthew, last evening, wished Kari’s stuffed animals a good night. Our granddaughter, Elia, informed her dog that Kari had died. Bailey seemed sympathetic. As for me, beyond the shock, tears, and waves of deep sadness, I process. And as I do, there is always some reason for joy.

The following were my thoughts before I fell asleep last night…

* * * *

“If any of us suddenly had RARS2 syndrome, we would die. This condition is incompatible with life. It is that consequential,” the CHOP specialist explained to us. At the time, Kari was 35 years old. If what the doctor is saying is true, how is it possible that Kari is still alive?

All her life, Kari struggled to live. It is truly amazing is that God enabled her to live over 39 years with this profound genetic deficiency. Kari should appear in the Guiness Book of World Records, as no one else has come close to living so long.

“Dying, you will die.” It is universal. Therefore, to some extent everyone battles to have life or maintain life or have more life. Some of us are more successful than others (for a while, though we too will be overcome by death). Perhaps we have better genes, live in a cleaner environment, have access to basic or more advanced medicine, and greater protection from harms than others in the world. While Kari had most of these advantages, because of RARS2 she had to fight harder than most to keep living and to experience each degree of life.  

And God allowed her a measure of life as she fought, repeatedly. She overcame one thing after another. He also gave us strength (beyond our ability) to fight with her. That undoubtedly helped – for a while. He also used others to encourage her to live. Their prayers gave her strength.

Now, death seems to have won, and Kari has lost the fight. Heaven, however, does not consider her a loser. I’m certain a rich welcome awaited her – greater than any victory parade the world has ever seen. The struggle, the life-long battle to live, is over. How different – so hard to imagine: Living in a place without any struggle to keep living, where absolutely everything is so full of life. Nothing about Kari (except for her body – and God will remedy that before we know it) is now “incompatible with life.” And that thought brings me joy.

A viewing will take place 9:30 to 10:45 am, followed by the funeral at 11:00 am on Friday, November 7, 2025, at Calvary Church, 1051 Landis Valley Road, Lancaster, PA 17601. Interment will be in Paradise Mennonite Cemetery on Friday at 2:30 PM.

You are invited to any / all the above including lunch following the service.

The funeral will be livestreamed at https://www.calvarychurch.org/

The obituary will soon be available at SnyderFuneralHome.com 

Kari enjoying the 40th Anniversary Cruise with her parents.

She left us just before 8 this morning. Jeremy was here with us. Her passing was as peaceful as death can be.

Though we begged God that he would call her soon, we can’t stop crying.

Thank you for all your prayers. We’ll let you know about the celebration of her life. Check back here.

Ron and Joan

Each moment with Kari is precious. And yes, she is still with us. She is comfortable, which makes things easier for all of us. Joan was able to sleep. Matthew is also more settled and expressing more thoughts and feelings about losing his sister.

Today is Matthew’s birthday – he is now a big teenager. Wow. In anticipation, we’ve been celebrating that for days. This evening’s party will be more focused on the tenth anniversay of his Happy Adoption Day.

Yesterday morning, Matthew kissed Kari before heading out for school. He wished her a good day and told her he is happy that she’ll soon be able to go to heaven. He looked around and then added that he wanted this (her bedroom) to be his room after she is gone (Joan and I weren’t happy with that comment). We said nothing but mentioned it to a hospice nurse later that day who explained to us how significant that was. This is Matthew’s way of saying he wants to keep feeling close to Kari. Being in her room would do that for him. Precious!

Jeremy and Sarah wanted us to have one more set of family pictures that included Kari. We weren’t sure we could do that, but we were open to it because it is important to them – a way of expressing their closeness to Kari. We agreed and we couldn’t be more grateful for their suggesting that. See the photo gallery for those precious photos taken two days ago.

This morning we talked with Matthew about his birthday and adoption celebrations. We told him that Kari will soon have a special day when God calls her, as an adoptioned child, and the angels carry her to her home in heaven.

Thank you for your prayers as we wait for that day – and before that happens, if Jesus decides to come for all his children so that we can all celebrate together, even better!