For those of you who can’t make it on Friday to Kari’s celebration of life service, we want to let you know that Calvary will be livestreaming it. This can be accessed at the Calvary Church webpage, at https://www.calvarychurch.org/memorial-service/.  Please note that if you log on early (prior to 11:00 on Friday, November 7) you may see a previous service, but it will switch to a live feed shortly before the service begins.

A video recording of the service will also be made available through the Calvary Church YouTube channel.  To get there, you can go to the same livestream page mentioned above, then click the button that says “Watch Previous Services.” It may be several days after the service until it is uploaded, but then the video recording will remain available at that site.

Each of us is responding to Kari’s loss in his own way. Matthew, last evening, wished Kari’s stuffed animals a good night. Our granddaughter, Elia, informed her dog that Kari had died. Bailey seemed sympathetic. As for me, beyond the shock, tears, and waves of deep sadness, I process. And as I do, there is always some reason for joy.

The following were my thoughts before I fell asleep last night…

* * * *

“If any of us suddenly had RARS2 syndrome, we would die. This condition is incompatible with life. It is that consequential,” the CHOP specialist explained to us. At the time, Kari was 35 years old. If what the doctor is saying is true, how is it possible that Kari is still alive?

All her life, Kari struggled to live. It is truly amazing is that God enabled her to live over 39 years with this profound genetic deficiency. Kari should appear in the Guiness Book of World Records, as no one else has come close to living so long.

“Dying, you will die.” It is universal. Therefore, to some extent everyone battles to have life or maintain life or have more life. Some of us are more successful than others (for a while, though we too will be overcome by death). Perhaps we have better genes, live in a cleaner environment, have access to basic or more advanced medicine, and greater protection from harms than others in the world. While Kari had most of these advantages, because of RARS2 she had to fight harder than most to keep living and to experience each degree of life.  

And God allowed her a measure of life as she fought, repeatedly. She overcame one thing after another. He also gave us strength (beyond our ability) to fight with her. That undoubtedly helped – for a while. He also used others to encourage her to live. Their prayers gave her strength.

Now, death seems to have won, and Kari has lost the fight. Heaven, however, does not consider her a loser. I’m certain a rich welcome awaited her – greater than any victory parade the world has ever seen. The struggle, the life-long battle to live, is over. How different – so hard to imagine: Living in a place without any struggle to keep living, where absolutely everything is so full of life. Nothing about Kari (except for her body – and God will remedy that before we know it) is now “incompatible with life.” And that thought brings me joy.

A viewing will take place 9:30 to 10:45 am, followed by the funeral at 11:00 am on Friday, November 7, 2025, at Calvary Church, 1051 Landis Valley Road, Lancaster, PA 17601. Interment will be in Paradise Mennonite Cemetery on Friday at 2:30 PM.

You are invited to any / all the above including lunch following the service.

The funeral will be livestreamed at https://www.calvarychurch.org/

The obituary will soon be available at SnyderFuneralHome.com 

Kari enjoying the 40th Anniversary Cruise with her parents.

She left us just before 8 this morning. Jeremy was here with us. Her passing was as peaceful as death can be.

Though we begged God that he would call her soon, we can’t stop crying.

Thank you for all your prayers. We’ll let you know about the celebration of her life. Check back here.

Ron and Joan

Each moment with Kari is precious. And yes, she is still with us. She is comfortable, which makes things easier for all of us. Joan was able to sleep. Matthew is also more settled and expressing more thoughts and feelings about losing his sister.

Today is Matthew’s birthday – he is now a big teenager. Wow. In anticipation, we’ve been celebrating that for days. This evening’s party will be more focused on the tenth anniversay of his Happy Adoption Day.

Yesterday morning, Matthew kissed Kari before heading out for school. He wished her a good day and told her he is happy that she’ll soon be able to go to heaven. He looked around and then added that he wanted this (her bedroom) to be his room after she is gone (Joan and I weren’t happy with that comment). We said nothing but mentioned it to a hospice nurse later that day who explained to us how significant that was. This is Matthew’s way of saying he wants to keep feeling close to Kari. Being in her room would do that for him. Precious!

Jeremy and Sarah wanted us to have one more set of family pictures that included Kari. We weren’t sure we could do that, but we were open to it because it is important to them – a way of expressing their closeness to Kari. We agreed and we couldn’t be more grateful for their suggesting that. See the photo gallery for those precious photos taken two days ago.

This morning we talked with Matthew about his birthday and adoption celebrations. We told him that Kari will soon have a special day when God calls her, as an adoptioned child, and the angels carry her to her home in heaven.

Thank you for your prayers as we wait for that day – and before that happens, if Jesus decides to come for all his children so that we can all celebrate together, even better!

Night time is the darkest, but the most sacred. I will give a peek into this Mama’s heart that is in agony as I cut the final string of my firstborn child.

Kari is seeing that distant shore for which she will be boarding that ship coming for her. I can only watch and wait and hear the sounds of her panting hard as she runs from this earth into the arms of Jesus. She has run the race, she is finishing the course set out for her. She has NEVER complained she was cheated in this life. She embraced every moment. And she will win the prize.

I can’t cut in and demand she stays with me, just because my heart is broken. I know it will heal, and I pray that you all give me time. My tears are no indication I am angry, bitter, or hopeless! They are tears of joy that I gave birth to this child who I will be able to spend eternity with. And just because this is not Ron and my first “rodeo” with watching life slip away from a child, does not really make Kari’s dying process any easier, but I must admit we both have more courage and treasured assurance that God is here and will get us through,  once again, this “valley of the shadow of death.”

Every word of encouragement, note, phone call, the incredible meal schedule, and prayers that you all have been pouring out on us is so appreciated. I can not thank you enough!

Many have asked about Matthew. He is doing OK. When we told him Kari is dying, he sat there a moment. Then looked at Kari sleeping in my arms and said. “Kari are you gone to heaven?” Without even a second of hesitation, she raised her head, looked in his direction and gave the biggest smile we have seen in years, and conked right out. Matthew giggled, looked at Ron and asked if he could go play Nintendo. Aww my TBI boy! For him, he is grieving just the way it makes sense in his brain. The tears come and go!

Keep praying!

For anyone nearby who wishes to share food, it would be helpful to do it through the following link. Knowing our community, this will help alleviate the fear that we will receive too much food (Haha).

https://mealtrain.com/5l1eow

Kari has been in many hard places. Over and over, she has come through life-threatening illnesses. This time, she will not recover. For weeks, there have been signs that are clear to us now.

In the heart of covid, we nearly lost her, but God brought her through and gave her five more years of life. And we received the gift of a diagnosis, learning that no one in the world is known to have lived as long with her genetic deficiency. 

It has been hard to accept the reality that we are coming to the end. We’ve been delaying this news until we are completely certain. It is extremely hard to let her go. But we can’t keep her here. It is the end of this journey, but not the end.

We’ve always wanted to care for Kari. And we couldn’t see her outliving us. And so, we take comfort and encouragement in God’s answering our prayer, that we could see her to journey’s end.

Joan and I have needed time to come to accept and begin to process this reality. Now that we’ve broken this news, this will be the place where you will find updates. Thank you in advance for your prayers, compassion, and comfort. We will welcome and treasure every expression of care. We will respond as we are able.

* * *

Some of you are familiar with Alfred Tennyson’s poem, “Crossing the Bar.” The following are similar words about anticipating death.

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey’s end

Sleep now
Dream — of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms
You’re only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come
To carry you home

And all will turn to silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time

Don’t say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you’ll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come
To carry you home

And all will turn to silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West

(“Into the West,” by Fran Walsh, Howard Shore and Annie Lennox)

Matthew had a great first day of drama camp and last night we learned he has been cast into two roles: Professor Ray and Gill. Neither are lead roles, but they are both leadership roles (fish who are in charge of others) and that suits Matthew very well. He has many lines and solo portions of a few songs. Our cconfidence about his doing well is growing.

A bunch of you are asking how to get tickets for the show this Saturday, location details, etc. Click here . Note: You will need to “select a date.” Choose 11:00 AM – 11:45 AM. Thanks for your support of Matthew. Please don’t feel obligated.

Matthew might be cast as a pelican, a sting ray, or even a shark. If so, maybe you might want to see his debut in a role within that deep blue world – coming to the stage this Saturday morning at 11:00.

First, I (Ron) want to update you on my eyesight. I last informed you that I would likely be having a second eye surgery this coming week, though I was at least a little tempted to try life without a lens in my right eye.

Big news! (feels monumental to me)…  I’ve made the decision (and all three of my eye doctors agree this makes sense) not to have the surgery. The story is long and contains details you probably won’t care about. (If you are a nerd about such things, let me know. I’m still fascinated and overjoyed with how it worked out.) Bottom line: I had a refraction (the test to see what my script should be), ordered glasses and two days ago they arrived. And, with those glasses I have 20/20 vision! In fact, my vision is so good, that it makes the vision in my left eye look slightly inferior by comparison – never “saw” that coming. I am still praising God (and will be doing so for some time) that my vision is this amazing and that I don’t need another eye surgery!

Back to Matthew…  For the last week he has been singing “Big Blue World,” “Keep on Swimming,” “Go with the Flow,” etc., in preparation for his Creative Pursuits Camp which begins tomorrow, culminating in a presentation of the Musical: “Finding Nemo Kids.” He couldn’t be more excited. I, on the other hand, find myself identifying with Marlin (the protective clownfish dad of the one with the “lucky” fin), not sure he is ready for the “drop-off.” Will he succeed at this? Will the stage be what he is made for? Or will he fail – he’s never done a week of camp (or a day of anything) without a dedicated one-on-one. Can he hang in there? He is so not ready for this. Or maybe I’m the one not ready!

Matthew will probably prove my hesitations to be without merit and the week will go fine. If so, I’ll send ticket info for the show.