The ship is coming

Night time is the darkest, but the most sacred. I will give a peek into this Mama’s heart that is in agony as I cut the final string of my firstborn child.

Kari is seeing that distant shore for which she will be boarding that ship coming for her. I can only watch and wait and hear the sounds of her panting hard as she runs from this earth into the arms of Jesus. She has run the race, she is finishing the course set out for her. She has NEVER complained she was cheated in this life. She embraced every moment. And she will win the prize.

I can’t cut in and demand she stays with me, just because my heart is broken. I know it will heal, and I pray that you all give me time. My tears are no indication I am angry, bitter, or hopeless! They are tears of joy that I gave birth to this child who I will be able to spend eternity with. And just because this is not Ron and my first “rodeo” with watching life slip away from a child, does not really make Kari’s dying process any easier, but I must admit we both have more courage and treasured assurance that God is here and will get us through,  once again, this “valley of the shadow of death.”

Every word of encouragement, note, phone call, the incredible meal schedule, and prayers that you all have been pouring out on us is so appreciated. I can not thank you enough!

Many have asked about Matthew. He is doing OK. When we told him Kari is dying, he sat there a moment. Then looked at Kari sleeping in my arms and said. “Kari are you gone to heaven?” Without even a second of hesitation, she raised her head, looked in his direction and gave the biggest smile we have seen in years, and conked right out. Matthew giggled, looked at Ron and asked if he could go play Nintendo. Aww my TBI boy! For him, he is grieving just the way it makes sense in his brain. The tears come and go!

Keep praying!