Light at the end of the tunnel

As a kid, I thought tunnels were neat, especially the tunnels on the PA Tpk. The surprise of the Blue Mountain was that, after exiting, in just 600’ we entered a second tunnel, under the Kittatinny Mountain. And these are long tunnels – .82 miles and .89 miles respectively.

As Joan wrote, the recovery from my May 22 eye surgery has been more challenging than we expected. The thing I hated more than anything was photophobia. Bright light felt blinding. Even overcast or rainy days were too bright for my liking. I often preferred being in darkness.

It is ironic therefore that I am happy to see the bright light at the end of this tunnel of recovery. Today (the first in eleven days) I felt comfortable enough to safely drive the two miles to Sky Zone (yes, Matthew loves to jump). Joan has been the family chauffeur at this time (according to her, I could see well enough to be a front-seat-passenger-driver).

Light, even bright light is not the problem. It isn’t harmful – not talking looking directly at the sun or at a welder’s arc. Photophobia is a symptom caused by some other problem. In my case from inflammation, irritation from the stitches and / or side-effect of the prescription eye drops. And photophobia causes an aversion to light in both eyes (not just the one with the problem). And my eyes refused to listen to me: “It’s okay. Take a deep breath. Nothing to be afraid of.”

It is tempting to shift into full preacher mode here: The light of truth is never the problem. Our fear / rejection of light and love of darkness lies with some fault(s) within ourselves. Freedom from photophobia and being brought into the light requires rescue. (Are there three points in there somewhere?)

Thankfully the photophobia is nearly gone. The inflammation is decreasing. I no longer need Tylenol for eye pain and am not taking quite as many drops as I have been. Beyond the light issue: Eye pressures remain low, and my retina is stable. My doctor says things are healing nicely.

One of the psychological challenges for me is knowing that, about the time I’ve fully recovered, I will enter the second tunnel of recovery from my July 15 surgery. I’m tempted not to go through with it. It is amazing how much I can see without a lens in my eye. Vitrectomy surgery in that eye 17 years ago increased the size of my eyeball – not great but happens to have a bit of an optometric benefit for me. Also, I’ve played with combining a right reader lens on top of my old prescription glasses – not ideal, but I’m close to 20/20 without a lens inside my eye. Who knew? (My surgeon laughs at my creativity.)

In the end, I’m more than likely to show up at the surgery center mid-July. After all, I do like tunnels, right? It is more like I’ve been through many eye surgeries, and so far, I’ve eventually come through amazingly well for what these eyes have gone through. Most importantly, God is with me – in and out of the tunnels.